I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You need a sexual gate keeper
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
