Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
