Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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