I think I died a long time ago.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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