It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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