I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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