found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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