Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize