I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
