I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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