Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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