god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
