i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Randomize
