accomplished twins. life is a go
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
