It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
