good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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