Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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