everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
