I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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