Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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