Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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