and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
