who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
