haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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