can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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