i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
