Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
thus making me awesome and them whores
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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