She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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