When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I cockslap morals
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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