Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize