im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
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I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I AM VODKA MAN
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I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!