ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
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No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?