i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.