Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.

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  (951): There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS. http://tfl.nu/ppbc
  Replies (63) Good night (6747) Bad night (704)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

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  (203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later. http://tfl.nu/9zcr
  Replies (33) Good night (11126) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

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  (315): Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial. http://tfl.nu/jwzw
  Replies (20) Good night (1477) Bad night (7064)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

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  (858): Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today. http://tfl.nu/g96b
  Replies (10) Good night (3444) Bad night (1394)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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  (518): Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos http://tfl.nu/5fyh
  Replies (2) Good night (2099) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.

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  (816): I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today. http://tfl.nu/j3kd
  Replies (3) Good night (2013) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.

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  (907): We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab. http://tfl.nu/cfiv
  Replies (7) Good night (2015) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.

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  (647): I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway. http://tfl.nu/bxvu
  Replies (8) Good night (2434) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.

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  (+44): Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world. (303): Welcome to America. You're gonna love it. http://tfl.nu/yt2w
  Replies (14) Good night (2881) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.

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  (858): Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home. http://tfl.nu/rouf
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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  (706): The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina. http://tfl.nu/6jcd
  Replies (10) Good night (2333) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.

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  (702): If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak. http://tfl.nu/8cng
  Replies (7) Good night (1417) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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  (214): I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary http://tfl.nu/wcin
  Replies (9) Good night (271) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.

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  (218): Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate. http://tfl.nu/leuc
  Replies (8) Good night (1221) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive

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  (775): I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive http://tfl.nu/xzuf
  Replies (0) Good night (248) Bad night (495)

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