Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. http://tfl.nu/71jn
  Replies (7) Good night (5265) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again. http://tfl.nu/x87e
  Replies (45) Good night (1978) Bad night (5769)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there? http://tfl.nu/sg5o
  Replies (2) Good night (2665) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from. http://tfl.nu/zs5p
  Replies (8) Good night (781) Bad night (2259)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after http://tfl.nu/0llh
  Replies (11) Good night (4653) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3
  Replies (5) Good night (971) Bad night (1489)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend. http://tfl.nu/x0gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1935) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later" http://tfl.nu/rgop
  Replies (3) Good night (1948) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart http://tfl.nu/w4xp
  Replies (7) Good night (2029) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh... http://tfl.nu/ky7u
  Replies (5) Good night (657) Bad night (1949)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me http://tfl.nu/4trs
  Replies (5) Good night (794) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever. http://tfl.nu/g05z
  Replies (0) Good night (762) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers. http://tfl.nu/2uqi
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head http://tfl.nu/8zj4
  Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends http://tfl.nu/kp0i
  Replies (0) Good night (60) Bad night (36)

Randomize