That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
