i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
