He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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