you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
