my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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