I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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