If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
