Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my sisters under your porch take her home
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I will be naked everywhere
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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