I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
handjob tips. give me some.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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