My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
