While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
