I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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