Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The air was thick with penises
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
