Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
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If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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