I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
