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Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
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