i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
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I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.