dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
