I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.