then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.