My nipple is on Facebook.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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