Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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