If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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