If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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