i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
