Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
