An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize