You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
