I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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