oh god the rape fog is back!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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